Pink is Nice, But Blue is Better
by OneSnazzyGnome
Summary: Who doesn't like Valentines Day? Chocolate, roses, your romantic partner, some snow (depending on geography... or is it topography?), and you know... a love goddess who refuses point blank to leave you alone until February 14th is over. No? Just the Seven, Nico, and Will? Man, what easy lives y'all live. Cause let me tell you, it SUCKS! (though it does make romance easier...)
1. The Part Where I Say Unnecessary Things

**Alrighty then, let's get this show rolling.**

 **First off, hi. My name is Bishop. And this is just a little message to let all you beautiful sons of guns know that I will be realising a story on February 1st. It is not a one-shot, and will be several chapters. The reason I am not uploading it now is because it is Valentines Day themed. Who doesn't a little Percy Jackson for Valentines Day?**

 **Set after the war with Gea, with the following pairs:**

 **Percabeth (cause you can't make a dam [see what I did there] Percy Jackson Fanfiction without them, yeah?)**

 **Frazel (cause they never get enough action, dammit! If I could draw... all of the cute fan art. Just saying.)**

 **Caleo (cause Leo doesn't deserve to be lonely. And because they are cuter than corgi puppies [not really, but still cute. ])**

 **Jasper (cause why the hell not? Also, lots of Aphrodite, so Piper needs a man and... oh wait. Yeah.)**

 **Solangelo (cause I ship it and because my *cough*gay*cough* friend Dante would kill me if I didn't put them in. To be honest, I would kill me too. I love them.)**

 **Yeahhhh... I need a life. Or a faster computer. Or a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Or a real friend. Or a puppy.**

 **Sorry, I get off track. I have ADHD IRL, so I'm like, totally a demigod. Though... I can't do anything. Hmmmm...**

 ***walks out of room***

 **Behold Bishop! Son of Demeter!**

 ***walks back in holding lightsaber***

 **Yep. My life.**

 **...**

 **Bye.**


	2. Doomsday, AKA How to Scare The Gods

**Well. I kept my promise to upload this on February 1st.**

 **I know, I know... I'm literally the greatest.**

 **My plan for this story is simple: a bunch of (almost) one-shots with different character pairings that will probably converge in one moment (AKA Valentine's Day.) I don't really plan for that much drama, mostly because I like all of these characters, and it would probably break my steel heart to watch them fight. *begins tearing up at the thought* I-I'm totally ma-ma-manly guys... Elfman ain't g-got nothin' on m-me.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Do I look like Rick Riordan to you? I mean yeah, I'm 1000% sexy over here, but I'm no Rick Riordan. Love you bruh. #NoHomoButIDoTotallySupportBeingHomosexualDon'tKillMePlzOhGodWhy**

"We are all doomed."

"No, we aren't. We've survived this long, we are going to be fi-"

"No. No. No. We are not _fine._ We are all going to be subjected to her torture. You know it, don't even try to deny it, sister."

"I don't know guys, maybe she won't know what day it is."

"... Do you honestly expect her to be that stupid?"

"Honestly? You never know. She's not…"

"Pea-brained?"

"Yes! She's not pea-brained. Just…"

"Slow?"

"Yes! She's just slow."

Sighing filled the room.

"Can gods pray?"

"No idea. But let's do it anyway."

"Quiet ingrates, she's coming."

"..."

"Dad, did you just call us ingrates?"

"Yes, I did. Now shut up."

"..."

"Brother, that's hardly fair."

"I do not care what is considered fair or unfair. All you should listen to me when I'm talking to y-"

"Holy Hera! She actually coming!"

"You know, I take offense to that."

"Shut up, mother."

"You shut up, idiot."

"Brother, I swear to Uncle I will slam my fist into your face until you can't moan, let alone defend mother."

"I have no idea what she sees in you, princess."

"Me neither, metal-head."

"I swear, all your bickering is the reason I drink."

"Like you need an excuse."

"Touche."

"I hate all of you children."

"Boo! Go back to your swimming pool, uncle."

"Would if I could. We're still rebuilding."

"You know guys, I am reminded of a poem…"

"Brother. Close your mouth, or I will glue it shut."

"Fineeee. Party pooper."

"I don't understand how your sister still talks to you."

"Technically, you're my sister too."

"You don't have to remind me."

"Good morning all!"

The throne room of Olympus. Home to the gods. Towering figures above petty mortals, who rule their kingdom with grace, wisdom, and power. Heroic, dauntless, wise. All eleven in the room went numb and turned their heads, as a new presence entered their court, subconsciously striking fear into their hearts. Zeus' suit became cloudy, the fabric turning from a light gray to a deeper shade. The blue peacocks that Hera had forced the new architect of Olympus (in her opinion, an ungrateful, Miss Know-It-All daughter of Athena) to import from Sri Lanka hid behind her throne, sensing the danger entering the room and hiding. Poseidon's fruity drink began to swirl as a mini hurricane brewed, tossing the ice and little pink umbrella. Demeter stiffened in her chair as grass began spreading across the new polished marble floor, growing in between the cracks which would later make the architect's (her name is Annabeth) life much harder. Hermes' shoes grew wings, lifting the unexpecting god legs-first off of him throne as hissy laughter could be heard from his pocket. Hephaestus' beard caught fire, boiling is Pepsi which he had been drinking. Athena reacted the least, the only sign she was uncomfortable was a small twitch in her left eye. Dionysus groaned aloud, before taking a rather large swig of his Diet Coke. Artemis became very interested with her bow, stringing and restringing the wooden weapon. Apollo began to fiddle with an exceptionally strange machine, pushing pistons down in a seemingly random order which created the sound of a dying cow. Only Ares looked excited to see the figure enter the room, wiggling his eyebrows and whistling.

Who, in the entire conceivable realm, could have all the gods (minus Ares) behave this way? Who, could walk into the throne room of the gods, and stop the conversation out of fear? Who? Who?  
 **(To the tune of "Right Hand Man", Aaron Burr's part)** Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for. The goddess of beauty, Aphrodite.

She strolled in, carrying with her a strong smell of perfume. She hopped onto her (excessively) pink throne and turned to look at her fellow Olympians. It was so quiet, that when Demeter sneezed, it was like cannon shot. "Did somebody die or something? You guys are acting like it's the end of the world." Suddenly her eyes widened. "Oh no…" She pointed at Athena, then at Poseidon. "Did one of you break up my perfect couple? I swear I won't stop! Percabeth is happening!"

Poseidon and Athena sighed at the same time, then glared at each other, before looking at the ceiling. Eventually, Athena responded, "no. As much as I hate my daughter dating a boy like that, I know I couldn't break them up even if I tried. And believe me, I've tried."

Aphrodite nodded, putting her finger down. "Good. Never mess with my couples. I'm sure you all remember the Trojan War?

All eleven gods groaned and stated that yes, they did remember the Trojan War. In fact, none of them would ever forget, especially since whenever anyone questioned Aphrodite's choices, she would blatantly remind them of the event.

Once again nodding, Aphrodite reclined in her chair.

Silence.

Finally, she groaned, sitting up again. "What day is it?"

The question the gods had feared she would ask. Some audibly groaned, whilst others practically sobbed in their hands. Aphrodite looked at what had become of the gods: a whiney, despaired, dejected, and miserable group of (gorgeous) people.

"Monday," Hermes eventually groaned.

"Monday what?"

"The first," Apollo sobbed.

"First of what? Months please people!"

"February," cried Athena to the ceiling.

Aphrodite's smile was impossibly huge. She opened her mouth…

"Oh no," was all Zeus could say.

"YEEEEESSSSS! HAHAHAHA! IT'S MY MONTH NOW! YOU ALL HAVE TO LET ME DECORATE ALL OF MOUNT OLYMPUS!" Aphrodite was running around the fire pits, laughing and screaming at the top of her lungs. Suddenly, she halted, eyes wide, taking in an exceptionally large breath. "Wait a minute… No… Yes…" She gasped. "This… This is PERCABETH'S FIRST VALENTINES TOGETHER AS A COUPLE! AND… ALL OF THE OTHER HEROS OF OLYMPUS COUPLES!"

Aphrodite was running in circles, laughing and waving her arms as flowers and paper cut-out hearts began to rain from the ceiling.

"I hate my life…" Athena moaned, rubbing her head.

Hera smiled lightly, her eyes holding fear.

Poseidon just sighed and drained his drink.

Ares blew a flower off his head.

Whenever a flower or heart got near Zeus, it would be zapped out of the air.

The hearts trapped in Hephaestus' beard didn't last long, bursting into flame seconds later.

When the goddess of love grew tired of running in circles, she stopped, an impossibly large smile on her face. "I am going to mess with the hearts of some mortals, bake some heart shaped cookies, turn everything pink, AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME! Or interfere with my matchmaking skills."

She pointed to each and every god as she said this, receiving glares and rude sign language. Artemis simply smiled, lounging in her chair. "Good luck with that." To whom she directed that comment to, no one knew. The next moment, her chair was empty.

Aphrodite turned back to the gods. "She's off the hook because she doesn't have kids."

"What about me," Hera complained. "I have no kids, therefore, no part in this madness."

Aphrodite tsked, wiggling her finger at the goddess. "True, but Jason Grace is yours more than Zeus'."

Hera looked like she was about to retaliate, then decided against it. "Fair point."

Aphrodite pulled a pink clipboard out of nowhere, and immediately began to jot stuff down. "This is going to be fun."


	3. Men In Diapers Are Secretly Evil

**Piper**

Piper could honestly say it was the worst dream she'd ever had in her entire life, and that's saying a lot. She was stranded, in a pink room, in a ridiculous dress, with a hottie in a diaper. Her hair was done up and makeup covered her entire face, turning her once again into the 'Limited Edition Cherokee Barbie.' The dress was a light blue greek style: sleeveless, high waisted, soft. And an embarrassingly low V-neck. Gold circlets wrapped around her biceps, intricate flower designs beautifully carved into the soft metal. If she wasn't embarrassed or annoyed, she would've taken the time to inspect. However, she was both.

"Mother! You're behind this, I know it! What the heck! Where am I? And who in Hades is baby man over here?"

The man visibly winced, shifting on his feet. When Piper didn't receive an answer, he coughed, bringing her attention from the ceiling (which she had been yelling at) back to him. He was tall, about 6' 5", not all that taller than Frank actually. He had close-cropped black hair not all that different from her own, though spiked on the left side of his part. Obviously on purpose, much different from Percy's bed-head hair. He had very tanned skin, almost a bronze color, and (how could Piper deny it?) a pretty fine build. His eyes were what interested her the most though, filled with amusement as they changed colors. Quite like her own.

"So you are the famous Piper McLean," he said with a very deep Italian accent. She shivered as his words washed over her, making her want to go run and hide. ' _He is totally bad news._ '

She cleared her throat. "Were you expecting someone else?" Fake politeness dripped from her words. He shook his head, smiling. "Quite the contrary, actually. I had requested any of my sisters, but I never imagined that mother would send you." He began to laugh. "You know, you've grown up visioning me as a baby in a diaper, so when I do show up, I'm wearing this ridiculous thing," he said, still laughing as he motioned down to his outfit.

Piper sucked a breath from her teeth. "You're Cupid… The god of love."

Cupid once again winced. "Actually, I am Eros, greek god of desire, affection, and erotic love." He frowned. "You do have wikipedia, right? Honestly, with all of the world and its history at your fingertips, you'd think demigods would be smarter…" His words slowly got more mumbly and quiet.

"You know, I'm mad at you. You caused my good friend a lot of pain." Piper's tone was low and controlled. It was true, of course, she did have a vendetta against the god.

"Oh you mean Nico? Well it's true I caused him pain, but it was the only way for him to admit the feelings he had." At this, Cu-Eros shrugged. "Plus mom wanted confirmation that he's gay."

' _Mother, I am going to have words with you_.' Piper thought to herself. Eros shrugged again. "Anyway, I came to warn you. The next few weeks of your life are going to be hell."

This shook Piper back into reality. "Really? How?"

Eros' smile turned devious. "Well, mom kinda has all rights over February. And what's in February?"

Piper sucked in a sharp breath. "Valentine's day… Oh gods."

Eros leaned in closer. "Yep," he said, popping the 'p'. "And now, well, you and Jason are bigger couple than a year ago, and all of the others are having their first Valentine's this year." He leaned in even closer, whispering in her ear. "And guess who mom decided would get to have some fun this year? Be careful Piper, you know she'll go to outrageous extents to make her couples happen. And she won't blink twice at the idea of using me to get you all together." He leaned back, smiling at the look of shocked horror covering Piper's face. 'Oh Schist, this can't be happening,' she screamed in her head.

Out of nowhere, a clock chimed twelve, snapping Piper back to reality. ' _Wait, there no clock in here. What the hell_?'

Eros laughed, though this one was different from his happy and playful laughs earlier. This one was cold, heartless, and evil. "That, my dear sister, is the signal. It's officially February now, and mother's voice is already in my head, telling me what to do. Good luck Miss McLean, for from now on, until Valentine's Day is over, you won't be alone in your head."


End file.
